Hello everyone! 🙂
My name is Kuma, and I am a bubbly, crazy 23 year old!
I thought I was happy and complete all my life – people defined me as a happy girl, who was always smiling. Deep inside, I knew I felt insecure about myself, but I simply accepted it as a part of who I was. I didn’t know I could do anything about it, and I had never heard of the concept of “self-love.”
Several years ago, I experienced a heart-break that left me feeling like a totally different person. It was this heart-break that opened me up to truly understanding and loving myself. For a very long time after it, I fell into an intense victim mentality – I felt so hopeless and worthless. I let the man I fell in love with dictate my worth, and the fact that he left me without saying a word meant to me that I was worth nothing. To me, his silence meant that I wasn’t even worth talking things through with. I was confronted with a despair so deep, there was a night where I contemplated whether living was even worth it. It seemed like the pain would never end.
The morning after, I felt this powerful shift. I realised how helpless I had become. I wanted to be happy, and it hit me that I was the one inflicting all this pain on myself. I realised that I have the power to take control of my life, and what I attracted into my life. I started doing these written meditation worksheets (http://thework.com/en/do-work), and through them, I learnt how to feel into my emotions in a different way. I saw how the pain was my way into healing, rather than it being an obstruction and reason to not live anymore. I questioned my thoughts about the situation and person I was involved with, and things started to clear up dramatically. With this mind-opening, came the most amazing feeling of unconditional love.
Through this emotional processing and questioning of my thoughts, came inspiration and insight. This new-found wisdom was amazing and life-changing. I felt this compulsion to share my insights with the world, and so, I made my first facebook post about self-love. Ever since then, I have felt a little bit more comfortable and confident in sharing my stories of grief, pain, and other human emotions to support others going through similar experiences. Being vulnerable has been triggering and nauseating at times, but I know I need to do it.
Why do I bother being vulnerable about who I am, and what I have been through?
I feel like we all suffer quietly because of the shame attached to feeling sad and hurt. Sadness / anger / hurt / jealousy etc. – none of these feel comfortable, and yet we all feel it from time to time. It rarely gets talked about in the open, and if it does, it is valued as deeply courageous because so many of us are afraid to be authentic in a society that shames negative emotion. The reason why I choose to be so vulnerable about my own pain, is because I know that feeling of being inauthentic. When I learnt how to befriend my emotions, and meet them with love and patience, rather than run away from them, that is when I started to douse myself with the love I have needed all my life. This is the love I want to share with everyone – that feeling of being seen, understood, and validated. Not judged. I want to create an authentic society, where vulnerability isn’t rare, but it is simply the way of being. The way of being true to ourselves, and true to others. The last thing we need in this world is to keep our humanity a secret.
This site is about Self-love. Growth. Vulnerability. Emotions. Relationships.
It is about being human, and expressing that humanness!
I hope you find that my work gives you some insight and perspective.
Remember that you are not alone.
Sending you lots of love,
P.S. I have to emphasise that I am NOT a therapist, or hold any professional accreditations in mental health. I am simply passionate and dedicated to the field, and strive to share my experiences with others. My blog aims to drive human connection. If you need professional support, there are plenty of resources I have provided on “My Inspirations” page.